My Thoughts on Fatherhood Fears & Fun

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Choosing to Adopt was the single most monumental decision I have ever made. Eli has brought so much meaning and depth into “my being”, looking back prior to having our son I used to think I knew what happy meant and I used to think I lived a pretty cool life for the most part. The truth is I did not know what living meant nor did I know what true happiness felt like. Eli has brought more joy in my life in his little 2 ½-year-old self than all of my 34 years of living. I live and breathe for my son, protecting him is my absolute thought when I go to sleep till I wake up and repeat. I want him to have the most love any child could feel, I want him to have everything he needs, I want to keep him safe from any pain or hurt, and I want to help him shape into a compassionate, empathetic, kind, strong, and healthy man.

If you think about it… There is a whole lot of fear, stress & worry involved as a parent (I would not trade).  Ensuring his safety is a 24/7 cycle down to hearing a cough in which  I find myself running in to check on him to make sure he is not choking.  Sometimes I even wake up in the middle of the night to see if he is breathing – there is nothing scarier than the thought of him not being alive. Prior to fatherhood I never had fear in my life because I frankly didn’t enjoy “stress” and truly believed in living in the moment. After having my son keeping him alive seems to be an every second “thought” occurring in my head.

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Some FEARS

  • Playing outside– Eli can’t get to close to the road or I cannot turn my head (because of the fear of that one second that you do).
  • Playing in the house– I am stressing and analyzing all dangers (items that could be swallowed and choked on) or did I use chemicals that are dangerous when I cleaned last.
  • Sleep Time- Fear of suffocating or getting too hot from blankets or too cold from not enough blankets.
  • Bath Time- If I am not the one giving him a bath I will worry about my husband (will he leave the room for a second).
  • Daycare- Is he going to get hurt today, is he being taken care of and loved, is something bad going to happen???

I am sure this is a problem we all deal with. Now don’t get me wrong – Eli does get hurt time to time and he is exposed to dirt and germs because not only is it imperative for building his immune system but it is also inevitable to avoid “life”. My son is very active, smart, and has a personality of his own. I know that we are doing a fantastic job raising him and loving him – he is the king and he knows it.

Thinking about life before Eli makes me appreciate my life more & more each day and acts as a reminder to literally enjoy every moment while making it COUNT. I would encourage anyone who doesn’t plan on having kids to consider adoption because as much as that would make a difference in their life, it would make even more of a difference in yours.

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Some FUN

  • Playing with Dinosaurs, Trucks, Race Car Tracks, Kick Ball- I literally feel young again when I am playing with my son, his imagination is so cool and it certainly allows me to lighten up after a long day working. There is nothing more I would rather do than to spend my evening on an adventure by hanging out with my son and playing with toys.
  • Role Play “Eli the Dinosaur”– Eli is now 2.5 years old so this is something that I have noticed him start doing over the past month. However, it is fun to watch them develop their characters and as of right now he turns into a dinosaur and roars around the house with his “claws up” and tries to attack me. The fun part is running and letting him try to capture me.
  • Teaching Numbers, Colors, & Shapes- Maybe I am the only one to get excited about Eli learning numbers, shapes, and colors because I am a teacher by profession. However, the fun part is being creative on a daily basis and it also allows me to keep my brain active and creative. I am coming up with random games to help him learn on a regular basis and he is always engaged.

Being a “human” literally in the now is such an incredible gift- I am unable to imagine a life worth living that could bring me, more love & joy, than my life of being a father.

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Toxic Times & my Toddler

Prior to having Eli, I did not pay too much attention to ingredients pertaining to consumer products. We did not learn about chemicals in products and in our foods other than being told by “alleged experts”. I have made it my mission to eliminate as many toxic chemicals from my child to hopefully lessen the risks associated with inorganic toxic chemicals that invade every aspect of our life. The only way to achieve this is through my own pursuit of self-education because when we depend on others for our parenting choices it comes with a high risk, ignorance, and lack of knowledge.

Being a full-time father, a full-time teacher, and a full-time husband makes it almost impossible to find the time to self-teach one of the most complicated subjects known to man. However, I do not feel I have any other choices than to just do it because at the end of the day ultimately our decisions now will have tremendous implications on Eli’s future health.

Now that I am becoming aware of the toxic chemicals that plague our world and invade our homes I have a deeper understanding of how our commerce society operates. Everything in life is operating in commerce and the only thing corporations care about is their bottom line. So, my health and my child’s health is not in the best interest to any consumer product, the pharmaceutical industry, and even in our health care system. If the best interest of our health was, in fact, a priority then corporate lobbyists would not have politicians pass legislation “to satisfy the corporate agendas over the best interest of the public”.

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Examples:   I Included Links to other blogs (for detailed information) 

  1. Daily Household Cleaners
  2. PediaSure & other so-called meal supplements
  3. Tap Water “Fluoridated” the additive used is Hydro-Fluorosilicic Acid (Acute Hazardous Toxic Waste)
  4. Laundry Detergent

Being “Aware, Mindful, & Open” Does NOT MEAN FEAR MONGER

I have been sharing different concerns I have with topics in which most people are ignorant on. I am not sure why anyone would risk the health of their children on “trusting the experts”. Most people are failing to recognize that pediatricians receive their information and education endorsed by Big Pharma.

In a nutshell, I hope to help influence other parents to seek the truth behind topics and products pertaining to the health of their children. Most people that I have talked to are not concerned with or say “It is in God’s hands” or “I choose to believe that God will take care of it”. I have never heard such ignorance uttered in my life- I am almost certain that God expects more out of people than excuses, complacency, and flat out lack of empathy.

Lastly, it is ok to challenge “the experts”. Truth and Knowledge is the only thing we can rely on throughout this journey of life. The quality of life is up to us and we owe our babies more than what we had. I understand the ignorance we all have but now that I am learning, not giving up, and consistently reading labels, I am able to make better decisions for items I choose to purchase. If I can learn how to read labels & do a lookup on the EPA’s website on chemicals – then anyone can.